You remind me of myself about 7 years ago. How long have you...I will not ask the time frame you have battled with this but how long ago did you seek help? It takes time. It took me a good 2 years to stabalize on my meds, a bit longer to learn some coping skills. Take it one day at a time. You have to realize that the fact that you are seeing and recognizing these things, is HUGE. It's good! Most bipolar people don't have any awareness of what is going on and they continue to suffer. I know getting used to meds is hard. I still have tremors in my hands. I used to play piano but now I can't but i'm sure I will again someday, just like you enjoyed cooking and you will again. Hang in there! Go you! for getting help,

Lia
crazymusiclvr@aol.com