Welcome to PsychCentral. I too am Bi-Polar and I know how frustrating it can be when it feels like life is out of control. I have learned to utilize the very nature of the illness. Try being creative in some way. Writing, painting, drawing, whatever you like to do. Use all the emotions you are feeling to create something if you can. It can be an incredibly powerful tool Bi-Polar Disorder. Some of the most successful artists of all time suffered from it. Sure it can be hard to learn to control but I honestly wouldn't trade it all away because I live life so fully with the torrent of emotions I can experience. The important thing is to learn to stay safe and balanced as best you can. Thank you for checking in with us. We are glad you reached out. Stay safe(take your meds and call someone if you need to) and check back if you need to.