Hi, Koko. I am sorry to hear you aren't feeling very well. I have been dealing with mental illness for the whole of my life, I am 36 now, and I can relate to feeling like things will never be right. More importantly how hard it is to feel like you are not being completely heard by your health care providers. You may to consider a second opinion. It's important that you feel heard. Don't give up hope and stay safe and in touch.