thank you everyone who replied! I am doing so much better, and I really thought it would never be possible! Last night, 1/20/10, I had a very bright, colorful dream. There was lots of dancing, costumes and art in my dream. I am not really into art/costumes/dancing, although I do like to dance. But the dream was really bright and colorful and it gave me hope. I woke up thinking 'my depression is over' and so far -- it looks to be that way. Thank you Fire_Star. Your quote "a colourful world for us to explore" somehow came true in my dream. I was amazed at the colors, and how vivid the dream was.

Thank you everyone who responded! I am eternally grateful! I did not think I was going to make it out of this depressive state alive. But I did! And I am so grateful to all of you!! Much Love!!