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(((salukigirl))) I am sorry. Death is a really personal thing to deal with. I have nothing of any real consolation to say other than I'm here to listen when you want/need to talk.
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"School is shortened, discipline relaxed, philosophies, histories, languages dropped, English and spelling gradually gradually neglected, finally almost completely ignored. Life is immediate, the job counts, pleasure lies all about after work. Why learn anything save pressing buttons, pulling switches, fitting nuts and bolts?" Bradbury, Ray Fahrenheit 451 p 55-56
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