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I've been diagnosed with bipolar 1 for a little over a year now and to tell the truth even with the books and the meds, I just feel lost. I feel like I am starting all over in life. That it's competely separate from my pre bipolar self. Is this a normal feeling? I am constantly striving to keep control of my life, read more, learn more. As if finding out everything about the disorder will make order out of my life. I have only told my very close family and friends and they are great and supportive but sometimes I just can't reach out to them. I don't know if it is because I am scared to show them or embarassed to show them the real me, no rose colored glasses. Sometimes I just need to know I am not alone and I am not a freak for not being "normal".
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