Haven't you both ever thought how hurt, how devastated, your spouses would be? It's my husband's affair that caused me to have a need for a therapist, meds, and psychiatrist. I know your "therapy" is about you, but it is unfair to "cheat" on others in the guise of "therapy". I'd be carefull, it may all backfire. Plu you previously stated if it came to an end you'd more or less take an overdose? How was "therapy" therapeutic for you if that became the possible outcome of your "therapy"? How ethical is this "therapy"? How fair is it to your spouses? How fair is it to YOU? For your sake I hope you are going to be okay with this, it is a slippery slope.
Take care of yourself.
"darkeyes"