{{{{{{{{{{{{Fuzzybear}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ((((((((((((Lucy)))))))))))))

Wow! You are making such great realizations lately! Recognizing patterns is going to help you a lot, especially when you are able to learn to break the patterns that aren't good for you. You haven't told us much before about your background, and what growing up was like for you, and I have thought there must be a lot of pain there and you have been holding it in. You have learned ways to cope with life based on what you had to do as a child to get by. We all do that - as children we have to. I'm glad that you are starting to be comfortable enough to be able to let us into your world a little bit more. When we know what life is/was like for you, we can understand you better and I hope we'll be able to help and support you better as well.

You are wonderful for who you are, and that's real, and those who see and appreciate that love you for it and respect you and will never want to hurt you or use it to control you. You are definitely making progress!

Way to go!
Rap