It's not much help, but from one mother to another; don't punish yourself for not knowing. This type of thing can be tricky and if someone doesn't want you to know, then you won't. I'm glad to hear that he is getting help, and I really encourage you to see that he has a good, secure netwrk to come home to; definitely a p-doc and if possible a therapist. He may need help filling out disability or Medicare (if you have it there) forms. He will need your love, which is so evident here. Hang in there. we are here if you need to talk. HUGGGSSSS to you and your son.