((( pinkcorr ))) This is a very good question! For me, we think about the same things - our struggle to keep in charge of our healing our way, and our need to be led and taught by T so we can become healthier.

What I find is that I do allow myself to experience dependence to T - but in a safe way for me. Thankfully, he knows what I am doing and he is very supportive in my process. I know I am in charge of my healing. And he knows that he is my anchor. There are times when I am too close and I will back off. There are other times when I am hurting too much (I am in the midst of my trauma healing work) - and I NEED to reach out to T and send him an email. Somehow he knows when it is just a "Venting" email or when I really need him to respond to me. It is hard at times to want him to be there for me more than he thinks he needs to be - but I know he is doing it because I made it clear I wanted as much independence in my healing process as I could have and remain safe. Then there are times when I think I am just venting and send an email that I don't need him to reply to, but he knows I do need him and he will reply back with just exactly what I need to hear.

Therapy is like a dance. It takes a little experience with the same partner to know what they are thinking when they get ready to take a step. But it is worth the effort to spend time practicing. Maybe you can scale down the number of appointments but not drop it? That way if you need to attend more frequently, you can do that as well?