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Originally Posted by rainbow8
I want someone who will let me talk about my past, and tie it together with my history of therapy, and help me to understand it all.
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If you talk on the phone first, you could say you are interested in gaining greater insight into your past and how it still influences you today. The phrase "insight-oriented" is one I have seen before to describe this approach.
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How do you know if a T will "go deep", as Blue expressed it?
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If you want a therapist who is able to go deep, I think this is a good question to ask early, perhaps on the phone also. (I'm not sure if you plan to ask questions on the phone first before meeting them.) My T's main orientations are family systems and humanistic. He is willing to go deep. I am not sure if this is solely because of his orientations, though, or also because of who he is as a person. (He is a "deep" guy.) I think you will probably find Ts of many orientations who are willing to go deep. Many Ts today (like my T) are mixtures of several orientations--"eclectic."
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Is it psychodynamic Ts who are open to the "inner child" concept?
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I think Ts with a number of different orientations work with the inner child concept. My T and I have not done inner child work, but he is trained in ego state therapy, so we have done quite a bit of that. (I don't have one inner child, but a number of different ego states from different times in my past, and elsewhere too.) I found that this concept was a good fit for me.
One thing my T talks about a lot is "healing". I think this is what is of primary importance to him. Other Ts might be most interested in helping people with behavioral change, or insight, or thinking patterns, etc. All these things are important (and we do some of each), but my T's number one priority is healing. What do you want your T's "number 1" to be?
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I really have specific criteria if I go back into therapy. I'm just very scared about making the wrong decision this time.
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I think having a short list of questions is definitely helpful. Insight-oriented? Willing to go deep? Seems like you are compiling your list. Another thing I think you have mentioned before is an emphasis on relational work? If you go see a therapist who is not a good fit, then you don't have to continue seeing him/her. So there is not an irrevocable "wrong" decision. You can go for a session or two, then discontinue, and choose someone else.
I was not looking for a T when I found mine. My sister knew what struggles I was having, told a friend of hers, and this person gave my sister my T's name as a person who could help with the sort of problem I was having. It turned out to be a great fit.
