Seriously....I've been working on making weekly goals for the new year and this week my goal was to get to work on time every day. Last week I got there late by 15-30 mins. I actually did it! I was very proud to have achieved a goal that is actually achievable. Unlike making goals that are not achievable. I was really excited, until I had this conversation:
Me: I achieved my weekly goal this week
Mom: Oh yeah, what was that?
Me: To get to work on time every day this week
Mom: Hahahahahahaha
Me: What? It's a valid goal.
I swear she never thinks about what she says. She has never said that she was proud of anything I do or ever done. I would really just like not to talk to her anymore, remove her from my life. I HATE being the only child. At least when my dad was alive, I had some kind of buffer, but I have nothing now, except myself.
We've even had "family sessions" where I have told her what her negative reaction to everything does to me. It's why I had to go to the hospital. The worst part is that SHE STILL DOESN'T GET IT! AAHHHH!!!!
But as my therapist says she's not going to change, so I need to not internalize her dissatisfaction with life. Also, to not give her a chance to take power over me. I used to tell my mom eveything, now I can't tell her anything.