When I first started therapy I was completely against the idea that my mother could have caused any of my problems. This was partly because when I was younger she would sort of threaten me about blaming her for my problems. (Are you starting to see that she is a problem?) I have now come to TRY to accept that I will never be the person she wants me to be, that its not my fault she abused me and I will not turn into her, no matter what happens. Its sad how much of your life is based on your childhood. I wonder what I would be if it would have been different. I guess I'll never know. I do know that one of the healthiest things I've ever done for myself was cease all communication and contact with my mother. Now I only have to work on things she did to me in the past and no longer have to deal with current (and fear future) abuse.