Trying- I like the way your T is right there with you when you read to him. I feel that way with my T now. I can tell she is with me when she asks about a big sigh or sensing how I feel if I get overwhelmed during the session. It makes me feel cared about. I will print out this thread. I feel strange having nothing written down. I am going to see how it goes this way. I have so many pieces of things floating around in my head.

Spotted and Sannah- Ftt has said that to me, that they both were sick people. I had never thought of them that way and they certainly would never have thought of themselves that way! But to tell the story of how they behaved toward me, they both seem very not mentally well. My mother had NPD and I think she as also a "right" junkie. I just do not love the addict and cannot remember ever feeling or thinking that I loved my mother. I have talked about this here and in therapy, I just have no memories of wanting her or loving her. I must have wanted a mother, I just cannot recall it.

Tree- I wasnt thinking you meant forgive either. I dont even go there yet. I dont even know what I would forgive. I can go to the place that she (and he) did the best they could, but forgive is strange. Im not there. I dont even understand forgive. I like the, "Yes, I understand, you tried your best, you did a crappy job and I am telling." OMG! I can just hear her laughing at me. Blech!
And...all is clear....