I continue on on this thread as there's no reason to make a new since really it is one. Ihave a ltl more to get out. I m not even quite sure what it is yet here I type. I guess hoping the feeling will come out in words. Alas it is still just feeling. There are really no words to describe today how I am really feeling. Maybe I'm not feeling at all or I'm feeling everything and its keeping me at a standstill. So I guess I don't know how to say what I need to say. When I figure it out I'll let it out. *sigh* its just so sad