Xtree,
I think the level of awareness you have about this situation is a very good thing. You have to trust your T in the context of therapy. So if you you don't trust your T's judgement in this situation, you might as well say you don't trust her at all and therapy is useless. I'm not sure exactly what I am trying to say here, but this seems like an 'all or nothing' type of situation. It is a decision you have to make. A difficult decision.
I am kind of sad that you have been put in this situation, and that you have these concerns to deal with. It seems like an extra complication in therapy that was unnecessary to begin with.
I am wondering if you can say more about what you said here:
Quote:
It is not only my side I am worried about though I feel I have the most to risk. I have no idea how she will feel treating me after a while. What if she ends up have a difficult time with it. I wonder how it will be from her point of view? Time will tell.
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You shouldn't have to worry about your T's point of view, and how she will deal with this. You shouldn't have to take care of your T, it should be the other way around. Do you feel she has put your therapy with her in jeopardy?
Xtree, I'm sorry if I am asking to many questions. I understand if you want to let this discussion go for now. You have made your decision and you have to be ok with it. I keep thinking about this situation and I'm really trying to make sense of it. On one hand it sounds like it will be fine, but on the other hand I am worried about the doubts that you have, and how that will affect your therapy.
ok, I think I'm talking in circles now. So I'll stop. Sorry.