Oh, Kathy, that's hideous! My grandfather had spurs on his back and I know he was in constant pain. People just don't get it. They have their own little idea of what life is like, they think that if only everyone wanted to they could do anything... chronic pain, overload of work, complex system problems don't exist in their worlds. Wonder why she didn't fix it herself if she know so much about it.
Dear, I had a pointed discussion with my father in law about a parking lot in our old neighborhood, where from early morning to late at night, people, mostly mexican men, would congregate.
His take on it: They just sit there being lazy. That's all they know how to do (He is a Swedish immigrant to the US)
Mine: No, B- , they have been waiting from 4 AM for the contractors to show and pick the workers they want for various jobs, and they stay in hopes that they'll be picked for jobs that might come up tomorrow. If you have a family to feed, and no education, that's how it is done.
The point is, that these folks are far from lazy, but certain people, who think that they can take all the credit for their success, have a way of twisting everything they see to fit that idea. "They are poor because...." "My phone doesn't work because they...." The idea that soemtimes, that's the breaks never gets into their tiny lttle heads. I'm sorry one of these jerks (and I hope it was just one, but I fear it hasn't been so) came your way.
If you have coffe with her, drop some exlax in and say it was from me Soem people have no class, no empathy, and no brains. Huggs, kathy, and to your wonderfull husband, too.