I had the most enlightening conversation with my T this week. I've been writing a lot of poetry lately. It helps me to use words to describe precisely how I feel and what I think.

I know, why can't I just say it? Well, I think the OCD/perfectionist in me dictates that this expression has to be exactly right.

In any case, a few weeks ago I shared one of my poems with my T and he really went on about it.

So, having spit out another opus, I drug it into therapy. I told my therapist I had decided that he is going to be the arbiter of my poetry.

He immediately countered with

"I'm no arbiter of anything"

"well" I said, "you have a file for me"

"Yes, I will be your archivist". He said.

At first the significance of that interaction was lost on me. Then it dawned on me how profound and comforting his statement was.

I don't know why I chose the word arbiter, because I've never felt judged by him in any way. But, out it came, as though I was expecting a judgement.

Instead, he reaffirmed that he will hold my story, protect it and be a witness. Wow.

Even after all these years, he can still get a wow out of me and be of immense help.

Wow - again.