29 days today i havent cut!

But so much is going on right now,all sorts in my head and things around me.
I keep thinking if i cut just a little bit it'll make me feel better.But the reality is it wont.I dont want more scars.I dont want my Son to see new "Oucheys" on my arm. And if i give in i will feel like im a complete failure.
My Care co-ordinator said to me today i'm setting myself to high goals.I'm setting myself up for failure and i'm putting too much pressure on myself.
I'm being moved into a Mental Health Nursing Home soon and ive told them how well im doing.And i want to keep going and keep doing well.But My Care Co-ordinator tells me im being moved there for a reason because im unwell and my risk is so high.If i do slip up i've not failed and noone will be disappointed in me.I'm doing really good and this is my longest time cut free.She also said if cutting a little bit will stop me from doing something more serrious in a way that would be better.I tend to hold everything in then i crash and do something serrious/life threatening.

Its just i will be disappointed in me if i do it.I want to be perfect.
But i already feel like ive failed because im thinking of it.

I just want to feel better