Think if you were thrust into a dungeon :-) It's dark and scary and your senses are overwhelmed because you can't see and things echo strangely and there are weird sounds and smells. What are you going to do?

Sounds to me like you're trying to "balance" by standing in the middle of the cell before you have explored it! You have to first see how big it is, whether there's anything good or truly bad about it; there could be a door out just 10 feet from you but you can't see it because it's so dark.

Calling in a couple times, making sure you understand can be a healthy way to explore boundaries, learn about situations you are in and people around you. You can't just "balance" all on your own with no practice, sometimes it takes holding onto other people or the wall and always takes understanding of your own body and how it behaves in space and time. The practice is for building muscles to support you (as you stand on one leg sometimes. . . or your head :-)

One thing that helped me was to "accept" AND support myself. When I write something here (or anywhere) or say something, etc. I do so knowing I will back myself up, no matter what. I will do my best to explain to people who don't "like' it or who I think misunderstand it but I will not be one of those because I don't write/say things without thinking about what I want to get across and knowing it's "Me".

But that's not to say I'm perfect and don't make mistakes! I've had people point out how what I've said made them feel and realized I did not express myself very well or was ignorant about their point of view and had I'd know of it, might not have said what I did. However, I always back myself up; if I'm wrong I admit it, I apologize, I learn. I'm proud of myself for trying and for being "Me".

Get to really like yourself and want to support and back yourself up. Be your own best friend. Look for and find your own center and that will do the most to help you balance. But while you're doing that, use therapists as "tools" and don't worry too much about what they're thinking, it has more to do with what they're doing than what you are doing.