I'm angry with my T. I took in this thing I had written up about how I was feeling. We talked about what it was like for me to share it and that I was nervous. That there was a lot of sensitive stuff in it. I told her that I couldn't read it out loud so she agreed to read it to herself. She asked me if I wanted her to read it then or if I would rather her read it between sessions. I said then because otherwise I would have all this anxiety between the two sessions while she was reading it. Before I gave it to her I made her promise that she would give it back to me (for a number of different reasons none of them really having anything to do with me being uncomfortable with her having it-as she had read it- but my own anxieties.) So she promised that she would give it back to me before I left session.

So it was getting towards the end of session and she asked if I had another copy (which I did- but this isn't the point). She asked if she could keep the copy that she had. Because of my own anxieties I said no. I didn't want there to be a chance of someone else possibly (in any way) getting access to it. She said that since I was not using insurance they could not ask for it. But I still said no. It makes me so angry that I felt she was trying to convince me to leave it with her when she had already promised that she would give it back. It's mine. It was something that I worked on really hard to be able to share and then she wanted to keep it even after promising to give it back. And what would she have wanted it for anyway? To put in a file somewhere? It can be perfectly fine in my journal until I bring it back to session.

I don't know that I am going to bring it back next week (it is my impression that she thinks I will). She may just have to wait. How could she do that? She promised. How can I trust her? I feel like she tried to trick me. Say yes to giving it back because she expects that afterwords I will go along with her keeping it. She didn't care how it made me feel, to feel that my trust had been violated. Why couldn't she just keep her word I feel like I was taken advantage of and violated. When I worked so hard to try and work on this. To try and trust her so I could get better...

Am I over reacting? I want to call her and leave her a message telling her how angry I am, but I'm not sure that is the best idea, I'm afraid I might yell at her. Advice?