I really feel for you.
I know those feelings of feeling dirty,disgusting,scared and ashamed.
Questions of is it me?Have i got a label on my head?
The flashbacks come and its like your there again,and its not just that incident its flashbacks and bad memories of previous abuse.
Wanting to tell and let it all out but being too scared too.

Your Very brave for sharing with us,And you were very brave trying to stand up to him.He is the dirty,disgusting one not you.
Maybe you could contact RAINN and speak with someone there.

I actually have a friend in Australia so if you like i could ask her if she knows of any organisations that may help you.

I send you safe hugs You are Not alone in this I promise

xxx