Hello. Thanks for the replies. I wasn't really that distressed, it was more of an outlet for a brain dump. I'm actually ok for the most part. But sometimes one small event can kick off a spiral, either upwards, downwards, sideways, or all three at once. I think the sleeping has a lot to do with it. I got almost 10 solid hours of sleep last night and I helped clean the whole house and I was in good spirits the whole time. Gonna go catch a flick with the whole fam tonight. It will be a lame movie (Alvin and the Chipmunks), but great fun for the kids.

As far as meds go, 400mg of Lamictal a day, and 60 mg of Buspar a day.
3mg of Xanax at night to calm the brain down enough to sleep, though I have to sometimes get up in the middle of the night and take another one. Even if I'm tired, I can't really sleep without it. I think I've developed a sort of psychological dependence on it for going to sleep.

P-doc wanted to get me off xanax, and he prescribed a small dose of seroquel. He thought it would do a better job of "quieting the mind", which is the way I described my night-time symptoms to him. I took 50mg (a small dose, as the prescription was for 25mg to 100mg) I collapsed at the bottom of the stairs, my wife called 911, and ended up in the hospital, barely conscious and my heart went into A-Fib. It was like having a panic attack, but being to f'd up to actually care. My heart was going crazy, I was sweating, muscles tightening, shallow breathing, but I couldn't really feel it, or care about it. The paramedics are like "You have a very irregular heartbeat, can you feel that?" I think I mumbled "I can't feel s--t." All i could tell is that my chest was having to work harder against gravity in order to breathe, but I was too knocked out to really care. They were asking me simple questions, like what's your middle name, where are you. Then they asked who the president of the United States is. It took a long time to answer. I almost said Bill Clinton, because he was the first democrat that came to mind as I started cycling through all the most recent presidents in my brain, starting with Reagan. Then the paramedic said "I'm going to put some aspirin in your hand and I want you to slowly chew on it." In my mind I was like, OK, how the hell am I suppose to tell my hand to get up to my mouth. I was extremely lethargic. They gave me some beta-blockers to help stabilize the heart and also some ativan to counter the panic-like symptoms, even though I couldn't really feel them. After a few hours my heart rhythm returned to normal, I felt better and they let me go. I told my p-doc and obviously he told me to throw the seroquel away and never take it again. So, we've decided to stick with the xanax routine at night, and it works most of the time, though I am groggy in the morning, just as kind of a hangover effect. I am usually fully alert about 10-12 hours after taking it, so I can deal with it.

I'll tell p-doc about the more recent mood bouncing next visit, a few weeks from now. Till then, I think self-awareness is really the key.

Thanks you guys.
Hope you are all doing well.

Cheers!