I was in an abusive relationship for 8 years before I got the guts to leave. You should find someone new, and get into therapy. It has worked for me. I've been free of my tormentor for almost 3 years now:P You can do it too, trust me. Life is way too short to be treated like this. One can beat themselves up enough without help from anyone else. Tell your partner to kiss your trashy butt! And don't believe anything that comes out of their mouth...