Wow it has been awhile since I have visited this site. No reason just haven't. Today I was thinking I need some support from those who can relate and maybe help me feel more secure when I see my T.
My mother has been diagnosed with cancer and it is not treatable. She has turned down treatment and feels she has lived her life and doesn't want to fight it anymore. She is in her late 80's and I can understand why she has made that decision. She has been slipping away mentally and physically for the last couple of years and she is very depressed. Now my issue is that I worry what my T will think of me. WHen we discussed it initially I cried the whole session and I said I was scared I wouldn't be able to handle this. She said that is normal and that whatever my thoughts are I need to honor those thoughts. That they are mine and I need to be careful not to stuff them and tell myself I shouldn't feel as I do. I hate those thoughts and I think they are so wrong. Like that I hope she doesn't suffer and that she goes quickly. I feel like a terrible person that I think that way and I am scared to tell my T. I know my T wwill be supportive but I am worried that she will think I am a terrible person. I have never gone through anything like this and I love my mom and I don't want her togo. How can I find the guts to be honest with my T about how I feel?