After watching my dad die of colon cancer, I can I say I wished he would have went fast because he did suffer.

People don't let their pets suffer when they are terminally sick ...and I really wished I knew why it seems okay to let people suffer. My dad had an IV with meds for pain and he was still in intense pain the last two days. It just doesn't seem right.

I do like what you T says about feeling what you feel and allowing yourself to be okay with that. I am sure you have conflicting feelings that will change everyday going through all of this. Be gentle with youself.