So, both my brothers have gotten engaged within a few months of each other, and now it seems they will also marry within a few moths of each other. I'm very happy for them,. Yet, it's not helped in decreasing my depression, I just feel like more of a failure. And while I feel gui;ty for feeling this way, I do. I feel like a failure. So alone, hell, I am alone- I don't often feel down but have been feeling more and more so than ever lately. I just was laying on my couch trying not to let my eyes well up with tears. I know, pathetic, right?
My sentiments exactly, I'm perhaps too hard on myself- but with no real social network besides my family, I don't really feel I have anyone to confide in. I recently ended thing in this loser relationsip I wasted four years on and now I'm going to turn 27 in a couple of months and feel like my life is going nowhere. Granted, I know people have things way worse than me in the world, and I'm not even that old really.- and so I keep telling myself to suck it up and stop being so damned pathetic, but I can't help but feel this way- my thoughts keep coming back to suicide- I could and don't think I would ever do it- but I just don't see my life gooing anywhere- the only thing I have going for me is my ambition to finally publish a book of poetry one day. I was thinking of that earlier today, on my lunch break from my loser job, but hey, it pays the bills. Damn, I can't even finish typing this