[quote=tee.jay;1260191]Hi,

When someone close to you, hurts you real bad. You suffer emotional, physical, verbal abuse. How do you recover?

I'm going through this, and sometimes I am so hurt that I feel detached, numb. I try to pick myself up, nurture myself but then it happens again. I love this person a lot. Is it possible that I can recover and have a better self esteem and make this relationship succeed?

My partner tells me things like -- "I'm so fat", "My family is horrible and trash." "Nobody could ever love me". "I'm poor." "I'm only think I'm deep and smart but I'm shallow." "She tells me how pathetic I am." She let's me know that other people are better than me, her ex was better. When she's angry, I have to admit to whatever it is and say everything is my fault and that I'm sorry...

On our good days, we talk...and I tell her...that all the things she says, and the way she treats me really hurts my self esteem. She tries, but then when she's angry she does it again. She also has tendency to turn really hot and then really cold, and that hurts me a lot. I have stopped working out. I feel so depressed.

Reading all that I just wrote I feel so angry at myself. 10 years ago, I was at my ideal weight. I ate healthy, exercised, felt good about myself. Then I went through a bad relationship, my ex left me for someone else. Then a couple of months after I met my partner. Fell hard. Ended up here. I don't talk to my friends, and I don't see my family...

I am trying to find a way. To regain my stregnth, gain my self worth...I keep trying but it's not working... HELP...[/quote

I was married to a verbally and physically abusive man for 13 years. I started to become very isolated, depressed, suicidal, and started to believe what he was dishing out. I finally, with the help of a lot of therapy, went back to school, got a job, and got away from him. I met other people after our divorce and saw a lot of the traits of my ex-husband. One day a met a man, who was kind, treated me respect, never had a bad thing to say about me, and when he said good things about me, I had a hard time believing him. We have been married for 13 years. It hasn't been easy. He told me one day that I was being verbally abusive to him, and I was shocked. I started to look at my behavior when I got angry, and realized I was putting him down a lot of the time when I was angry. I have made a huge effort to change, and he has acknowledged that he sees a difference. If I am out of line, I apologize for hurting him, because usually it is because I am unhappy with myself. I can't tell you what to do. I can only tell you that I picked up a lot of bad habits from my ex. My life is better now. It is nice to know that someone has your back and is not critizing you and making you feel so small.