Hi Del, I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's illness. I think it's the most normal thing to not want someone you love suffer. Also as you see her suffer you are also suffering. You're human and this is a very difficult thing for anyone to go through. I'm sure your t understands completly and won't judge you and I think sharing this feeling with your t will be so healing for you. I hope you find comfort and peace in the support of those who love and care about you and your mom at this difficult time.

Be well and take care,
bl