I'm surprised at the extremes in what you have to say; "everyone hates me" when you've just gotten to talking to them and/or you set "boundaries" and that causes their hate. It takes time to talk to and get to know people and because people don't have something in common with each other doesn't mean they hate each other! Initial conversation with another is to begin to get to know about them, whether they are someone one would want to become friends with. That doesn't happen in a couple meetings/interactions, but over time.

What sort of "boundaries" are you setting that cause hatred? I can't imagine that concept. I guess one could set boundaries that make it difficult for another person to get to know the person setting the boundaries but I would think that just might cause the other person to lose interest, not "hate".

Not engaging or disengaging is not the same as hatred; other people don't feel that strongly about us unless they know us very very well and if we've let them in that far, it's usually because of love.

I think the trick to relationships is to take one's time getting to know another, being curious about them rather than worrying about what they are thinking of us (that's their problem). One wants to know if the other person is worth my work to get to know. If I know who I am, another person who doesn't know me can't hurt me much.