My counseller was getting me to make my own world in a sand tray and put all these figures in that I'd have in my perfect world. She has a big box of them. Then she asked me to tell her why I'd choosen those figures. But I couldn't do it. I started burying this soldier instead and she watched me. Then she asked why he was buried. I uncovered him and put him on top of the sand. She then asked why I'd uncovered him and had she exposed him. But I couldn't tell her anything she wanted to hear. I had no idea what she wanted me to say. I think I really upset her.

What do I do now? How can I explain that all I wanted to do was play with these toys? But I couldn't because she was there? That I wanted to take them home? That's just plain selfish. Others need these things too.

And then I started SIing in front of her. God, I am so dumb.