Simcha, I'm sorry. What a hassle--how stressful.
I have a feeling they probably won't let your T do the evaluation, unless that is a service he routinely does for the court. On the other hand, they will not let the opposing side choose the psychologist either. The person is supposed to be neutral.
You can also request a psych evaluation of your spouse (tit for tat).
Your evaluator will probably be a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. And the evaluator will be evaluating you, not treating you or prescribing meds. The evaluator will not be prescribing Xanax to you!
Be truthful and cooperative. Do not assume the evaluator is out to get you, so don't be hyperalert and take offense, get angry, boss him/her around, insult him/her, slam your fist on the table, walk out, etc. All that would reflect badly on you. You may feel like walking out but just stay calm and get through it. You will never have to see this person again after the evaluation is complete. They will probably ask you a bunch of questions and perhaps ask you to take some standardized psychological tests.
Find out the reason your spouse wants you to be evaluated. Does she say you are dangerous? That you are out of touch with reality? Addicted to drugs? What?
Find out as much as you can about how you will be evaluated and then ask your own T for advice on how to pass the evaluation.
Quote:
I'll know more in February, but dang, I sure do have anxiety over this as it is so uncertain. Maybe I have nothing to worry about, but if they order me to see someone else other than my trusted T of 3 years, then my anxiety will skyrocket.
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Do you mean order you to see someone for regular therapy besides your T? Or do you mean get evaluated by anyone besides your own T? If the latter, you should get used to that idea now, so you don't blow up when it happens, as it very well could. They want a neutral evaluator who is trained in court evaluations. Your T is not neutral, because he knows you and has been treating you. And is he trained in court evaluations? Simcha, be prepared for an evaluation by a psychologist you do not know. Think about it
a lot so you are used to the idea before that is what happens. You will cause trouble for yourself if you refuse the evaluation. If you want your T to give input, you could ask your lawyer if there is a way for your T to submit a letter of support to your case and have it read into your file--or something like that.
Simcha, what methods do you use to relax? Can you use those a lot between now and the evaluation? You need to be calm and present well.

