((((((((((((((((((SUNNY)))))))))))))))))))))))
Ahh, Sunrise, I feel you know me so well!
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Originally Posted by sunrise
Simcha, I'm sorry. What a hassle--how stressful. 
I have a feeling they probably won't let your T do the evaluation, unless that is a service he routinely does for the court. On the other hand, they will not let the opposing side choose the psychologist either. The person is supposed to be neutral. |
I know right? I can't believe it's been 6 months! At least I'm not as stressed out as I used to be. It was good news that I might be able to use my psychologist (if the State allows it). The reason we think it's a possibility that they will let my T do the evaluation is because of his status in the community. On the other hand, one of the reasons why they might not let me use my psychologist is BECAUSE of HIS STATUS in the community... LOL.
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You can also request a psych evaluation of your spouse (tit for tat).
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Why bother? I already know she's CRAZY!
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Your evaluator will probably be a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. And the evaluator will be evaluating you, not treating you or prescribing meds. The evaluator will not be prescribing Xanax to you!
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I'm still afraid of what they will say and make me do vis a vis the courts. In this backwards county, they seem to have their own rules so really, just about anything seems to go here. I'm the only one who is suffering here. If I don't have serious unmet mental problems now, I will by the time I see a psychologist!
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Be truthful and cooperative. Do not assume the evaluator is out to get you, so don't be hyperalert and take offense, get angry, boss him/her around, insult him/her, slam your fist on the table, walk out, etc. All that would reflect badly on you. You may feel like walking out but just stay calm and get through it. You will never have to see this person again after the evaluation is complete. They will probably ask you a bunch of questions and perhaps ask you to take some standardized psychological tests.
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I am generally a pretty laid back guy, but I'm still scared of the consequences of letting the State tell me if I'm "mentally stable" or not and what will become of me. The only thing I ever did was walk out on a guy who was mistreating me (PDoc #2). I think he needed therapy far more than I did
. It surprises people when I don't live up to the expectations of behavior (zany accusations from my EX are written in court documents).
What do you suppose will happen to me after the psych. eval? Even if I only see the guy once, surely those results go somewhere and recommendations will be made that I might not like.
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Find out the reason your spouse wants you to be evaluated. Does she say you are dangerous? That you are out of touch with reality? Addicted to drugs? What?
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She doesn't want me evaluated; rather the STATE does, which is based on the lies my EX told them. ONE of these lies alleged that I was somehow dangerous (convenient to say when one wants out of the lease and half the deposit).
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Find out as much as you can about how you will be evaluated and then ask your own T for advice on how to pass the evaluation.
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LOL, Sunrise. Ironically, my T would advise me of these things. He'd also try to reassure me that there isn't anything really that wrong with me, and to keep my cool and play their little game etc. I swear you must have known my T in another life...
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Do you mean order you to see someone for regular therapy besides your T? Or do you mean get evaluated by anyone besides your own T? If the latter, you should get used to that idea now, so you don't blow up when it happens, as it very well could. They want a neutral evaluator who is trained in court evaluations. Your T is not neutral, because he knows you and has been treating you. And is he trained in court evaluations? Simcha, be prepared for an evaluation by a psychologist you do not know. Think about it a lot so you are used to the idea before that is what happens. You will cause trouble for yourself if you refuse the evaluation. If you want your T to give input, you could ask your lawyer if there is a way for your T to submit a letter of support to your case and have it read into your file--or something like that.
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My T has been used as an expert witness and court evaluator many times over the years, which is why it MIGHT be possible to use him. The problem still lies in that he is, as you indicated, NOT neutral. He knows me and is an advocate for me, but on the other hand he is still a professional. I will run the letter of support idea by lazy attorney, whenever I see/talk to him next. I think my lawyer causes me more stress than my EX did to be truthful.
Which is probably a good reason to get my Vyvanse refilled...
This is an area I need to work on. I don't have access to an indoor running track, I can't afford a gym membership, and the weather is far too icy and wintery to really run outside (one of my outlets). I have been thinking about acupuncture and massage as a good way, since I can't really see my T like I used to. One of my problems is not knowing how to relax.