I guess that says it all - falling apart. I can't work. I'm so depressed. After 16 years of just haldol and nothing else, now I'm on lithium and have started lamactial and am taking 3 mg klonipin. And I'm a wreck. I go to my pdoc today and to my T soon but this is not like me. I was the one people leaned on and was the strong one. Now I'm so depressed. My husband is doing his best to understand. But who can understand but another bipolar? I have a job to go to. I've worked for the govt for 26 years. I have 3 years to go till retirement. Now I wonder if I can. It is so hard to put up with work - even when I wasn't this depressed. I felt dirty and I didn't fit and how can I put it it was hard to do. Now all this comes out. But I'm supposed to be strong and work 2 peoples jobs and take whatever is dished out to me.
I just hope my pdoc can help me and understand I'm not faking. That this is all real.