Abby, do you think that you are experiencing transference with your T when you feel that she is reacting just like everyone else has in your life when you express yourself?

Also, I think that I hear you saying that your outsides don't match your insides (inside you are a "mess" and outside you look all pulled together?) and that this is causing you some trouble?? Could this be what is pulling you into the charade of fake interactions that you are feeling is going on???