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lynn P. · Jan 25, 2010, 11:25 AM

Hi Grithnir,
welcome to PC. I agree with Ascension that you should be happy with who you are and don't try to change your sexual orientation. If you think it would make you happier and if you're able to move to a more liberal area - then you should. I live in Canada and gay marriages are accepted here. I think you should stay away from religious groups that claim they can change someones sexual orientation - that's rediculous and just forces denial. There has to be religious organizations that embrace homosexuality. I personally believe I don't need to officially belong to a religious group, to be close to God.

I hear in your post that you're hoping for a monogomous relationship and want to steer away from the promiscuous relationships. There must be gay men like yourself who also want stability. You need to be careful with porn because it can be addictive and it can also cause desentization - this causes sexual problems sometimes.

My brother was gay but unfortunately he passed away from aids 6 yrs ago. I hear you when you say you're scared about safety and I hope you'll practice safe sex always. I loved my brother dearly and it didn't matter what his sexual orientation was. I speak about him, in hopes that someone will learn and not have the same thing happen to them. I think the most important thing for you to do, is accept yourself for who you are and know what you want in a relationship. When you accept yourself. you'll be less likely to feel you need to sneak around and engage in secretive sex, that could be dangerous for you. I hope you'll be able to find a nice monogamous person to share life with. Best of luck.