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__zh said:
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well.....we have a couple questions back for you. firstly what about this online friendship has drawn you to talking on the phone when you are already in a relationship?
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The online friendship began innocently, through a common interest message board. I wasn't pursuing anything other than conversation and friendship with this incredibly intellectual person.
When we first talked, it was like I connected on a spiritual level and he felt the same way. It may sound silly or romantic to some people, but we immediately felt as if we already knew each other.
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we wonder what level of friendship you are seeking with this person. is your partner comfortable with your online friendships that progress to a phone friendship? some people have no issues with their partner's online activities and friends........others are concerned and a bit jealous. just checking where you're at in regard to this.
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The relationship I am in is not a particularly happy one, so my straying from it to be close to my online friend isn't something that is totally surprising. Sometimes one reaches out to another if they feel a connection.
My partner does not know about the online friendship.
I am not excusing my behavior, just explaining where I am at at this time.
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about keeping your own boundaries? that means that you really take a look at how much time and energy you are willing and able to give to a friend in this kind of situation. you mentioned having an uncomfortable phone conversation with an alter who you ended up hanging up on. that sounds very challenging and frightening. what would you do if his behaviour continued to become more bizarre? how invested are you in being friendly to this man when at times it causes upset?
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The conv with an aggressive alter did not frighten me, it frustrated me because I had no undertanding of DID. All I knew was what I had seen in movies, such as Sybill. That is why I came here to ask advice.
As for the time and energy involved, I will invest all the time and energy I can. I feel that we two have met for a reason, and I care very much for him. There is no way I would abandon him at this point, and he knows that.
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you started another thread asking about time and ask this question </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Broken_Wing said:Am I being too emotional in thinking he is avoiding me? 08/11/05
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> that could be related to your level of self esteem and your personal sense of self. if you worry when you think someone is avoiding you when it is merely a sx of the disorder then we have concerns about whether or not this is a healthy friendship for you to continue on with.
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Excellent points. I do have issues with insecurity but as I read this board and talk to my friend more I realize that he is losing time and it isn't a case of avoidance on his part. I understand and support him, and wait for when he is ready to talk.
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we applaud your seeking information to learn more about the disorder. we hope you find a middle path that leaves you w/o worry and stress and with the ability to be a friend to your friend.
best wishes,
__zh
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Thanks for the best wishes, and your thoughts. They are much appreciated.