I need to stay engaged right now and moving forward with my new day.
I need to fight the urge to give into this anxiety and live through it. I am hoping if I can use this thread to acknowledge what I have done and encourage myself to keep moving that I can be victorious today.
I woke at 7:30 to know it is Monday and therefore a work day. The weekend had gone well. I accomplished some long put off tasks and felt strengthened and empowered for the effort. I gave in to avoidance by sleeping another hour. Resisting temptation to sleep some more to avoid I pulled myself out of bed and went immediately to writing my morning pages. Cut my ranting off at 3 pages.
The anxiety was still holding strong. That fuzzy feeling, hands shaking, shallow breathing, headache mounting. Reduced some with focused breathing, positive affirmations, day plan broken into small pieces.
Quick visit here and to facebook with a 30 minute time limit.
Pushed myself into my office at 10 to prevent putting it off until after lunch and risking putting it off entirely. Checked my work email and was blessed by an encouraging note from a dear friend. Thankful for the gift that seemed connected to my effort to make it into my office. It was like see what blessing await you if you move towards them.
Checked my to do list of clients I needed to contact and other pressing matters that needed to be addressed. Not ready yet to pick up the phone I opted for the shower I had skipped earlier when I took another hours sleep. Sang songs of affirmation and kept my focus on breathing to calm the shakes and ease the pressure on my head.
Here now back in my office getting set to call the first client on my list. Need to open an document and prepare myself for the call. Thoughts are spinning but I can do this. One step at a time. Here I go.
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