Thank you.... I appreciate your encouragement. While this thread is somewhat self serving I am also hoping it will be useful to others who know how hard this is and are facing the same choices minute by minute.

So here is an update... I called one client and the work I have been doing for her organizations won't need my attention again for a few months but she did give me a lead on some work with another organization where a mutural friend has just taking on a new job and may need my expertise. I called and left a message.

I called another client about a project that is still hanging and found out she left the job and so the follow up with me has been transfered as well. She said she will be meeting with her replacement tomorrow and will bring it up with her to give me a call to talk about moving it forward.

A third client was not in and so I left a message there as well.

So I didn't get what I wanted from anyone.... that is I didn't secure a new contract that would bring money in right away but at least I created some momentum that has the potential to spin some work out sooner rather than later. Phew!! I did it!

My hands are still a little shaky and my head is still aching but I am no worse for the effort and more or less am better for it actually.

Time now for some lunch and a walk with the dog. Maybe treck to the river where I am always lifted up by watching the running waters and listening to the music it makes. Maybe by the time I get back the phone will start to ring.

I still need to call my bank to see if I can defer next months mortgage payment to take some stress off my finances while I generate some new work. Maybe I should do that now in case it is another call back situation and then I am likely waiting another day for resolution. It will ease my anxiety a lot if I can get that deferal. I have never had to do this before so it is hard not to worry about it or see it is a sign of tougher times to come. Yes, I will do that and then have lunch.

Okay... doing okay... one step at a time. Affirming action.