I love a-ha moments, but I hate the after effects of them sometimes.

I think there is something so difficult about huge shifts in belief. For me, there is always this part of me asking "what if you're wrong"? It all feels so tenuous...like I've had this glimmer of what could be...but it would be SO easy to slip back into what's familiar.

It makes me want SO BADLY to connect with T. I e-mailed him about my a-ha moment, and he called me and left a message that his work computer is broken so he won't be able to see any e-mails at work for a couple of days. I *think* he said he will read the e-mail tonight, but I'm not sure (it was hard to tell on the message).

I'm not sure what it is I need from T. I guess validation...I need him to tell me that I'm on the right track, that the old beliefs are NOT the truth, that it's okay for me to believe that I can be okay. Right now, I can't help feeling like "what if I'm wrong?"