I am hanging in there but did have a rough evening last night.
I was trying to put aside all my feelings and actually had some friends over.
We were playing cards but my gf embarrassed me and than when I got mad she got mad that I got mad.
It is like, trying to show emotion only makes it worse for me.
Anyway....enough of the lesbian drama.
It seems like as it gets closer to Tues. I am just becoming more tired and more fantasized with my thoughts of "S".
Again, I am in direct contact with my T and she is aware of all of this.
I want to live...I just need to stop feeling like my only way of spelling relief is by ending it all.
I know I have to concentrate on the good things in my life.
It is just so hard to see through my "black slime"
Again, the support here is overwhelming and keeping me going this weekend.
(((to all those helping me throught this)))
(((to all those knowing exactly how I feel and trying to do the same thing I am to survive)))