For the past five months, I'm nothing but sad, lonely, or emotionless. I either cry constantly for weeks at a time or go about my days like a robot. I never know when which side will hit me, and it makes it hard to go about my day. I've had at least half a dozen times where I have "called in sick" to work or meeting with an excuse that I am with a cold or a flu when I have just wanted to lay in bed and not do anything. I haven't missed any classes for this reason...yet. I have always willed myself to go to classes at least, but I'm afraid this will start to change as well.

I am so sick of this. I want to be happy. The only time I get a break is when my boyfriend comes to visit me at my university for three days, but then I'm worse after he leaves since I realize how alone I am. Sure, I have a friend here or there but I still feel so alone.

I am seriously considering looking into anti-depressants as my therapist suggested. I just need something to keep me afloat. I'm afraid they won't work or make me dependent...

): I have been crying all day and can't even make it to the communal kitchen to heat up some food without bursting into tears. I just want to be better. I want a glimmer of hope and happiness.