No, I've been suppressing since I was about 5 years old. I just do it so automatically, even before I realize that I've done it, so it's not like when I am distracting myself from ruminating or racing thoughts that are pounding on me. In this case, I don't even really let the thoughts form in the first place, so there is nothing to distract myself from. It's akin to repressed memories that way. These are thoughts that I just don't even see in the first place, so they don't bother me consciously. That's why he's working on me telling maybe through sensation that something is there. I'm just so good at not being aware of these thoughts at all.