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lynn P. · Jan 26, 2010, 11:47 AM

Hi Belle,
I think you're being too hard on yourself. There a famous radio host in the U.S and Canada - she always tell people who have broken up "to wait at least 1 year before starting a new relationship." The reason being you need to heal and grieve the relationship that's lost. You don't want to get into a rebound relationship because it will most likely fail. It's not fair to you or him.

If I were you, would write him a letter explaining all of this. Do you think you could ever see him the same way he sees you, in the future? The only time it would be okay to become physically involved in to do the 'friends with benefits' arrangement- where 2 people agree to be physical but with the boundaries they are only friends and not in love. Since he has already declared he loves you, then I don't think this is possible in your situation. If you don't think you can ever love him in a romantic way, you should be honest about that, but say you still want to be friends. Your friendship should have boundaries of course, so you want to avoid things like butt slapping LOL. I hope he comes around and still wants to be friends. You're entitled to make sure you're in a healthy place before you get romantically involved again and you shouldn't feel bad about this. You're protecting yourself and your friend from being hurt.