Quote:
Originally Posted by purple_fins
I get such anxiety deep inside when I'm around others(even family though)... but for me it's increased the more they get to know me and the more I get to know them. I havn't any trouble at all with strangers, I can visit and feel comfortable until about the 3rd meeting ...
then, this is me inside--   anxiety takes over.  (any wonder I've struggled to stay with forums even!)
I feel such expectations .... like: will they measure up to what I want in a friend and will I measure up to what they want .... will they somehow cause me to lose myself and then I won't exist  ... will they say one thing TO me but then say another thing when I'm not around(I grew up watching my mother do this to others ALL the time  )
As a child, family was no safe haven for me and neither were neighbors or friends... I think I'm "humanphobic" I'm quite messed up. 
maybe it was the crowd you hung out with when young, they just left you concerned that some people like them could come around you again?? |
Hey Fins, thanks for your post! My first thought with your first paragraph was maybe that you are afraid of intimacy? I had to work through that one and I feel it pop up every once in a while but I won't let it stop me (and this still could be a part of this issue for me?).
With your second paragraph it makes me think of anxiety and being afraid of the unknown??
I'm sorry you didn't have any refuge as a child
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Your last point is spot on. I do have issues with this but where I am in my life right now there isn't any chance for this to happen. (For these types to have access to me.)
Thanks again for your post and I hope to continue seeing you around here!