Brennan I'm so sorry life sucks for you right now. You have to believe that it will get better. Keep coming to PC. You will get help here. Don't give up or give in to the pain. And don't live your life blaming your Dad. He may have his own problems.? If you need to come here and vent then do it. But also keep trying to get professional help, somehow and someway. I wish I had all the answers for you. But believe that your life is just on the wrong path right now and it will get better.