Hi......and warm welcome to PC!

Just a bit of an "out of the box" thought.......

Could it be that you are actually experiencing "stillness" as opposed to apathy?

I wonder if the loss of all those things, means more in a positive light than in a negative one.......maybe they were meant to go?

It is very hard to accept loss, and you have had quite a bit of it......they are life changing things to happen to a person. But sometimes in deep grief, there are bittersweet overtones.

Be very, very kind to yourself......get help if you need it and it is an option, make safety your no.1 priority, and know that all things are in flux......I wouldn't be surprised if there is not something amazing on the horizon for you, and you are unknowingly getting ready.......by having a period of rest in anticipation of Spring, a time of growth and prosperity.

Take care and keep talking........

Michah