I have to miss T this week because my flight to my grandfather's funeral is earlier than my T appointment. Is it selfish to not want to miss my T appointment? For all that I need to deal with some issues I'm having with T, I was also hoping to talk about my anxiety about flying and dealing with my parents who I don't have a very good relationship with. I'm just stressed out. I know I should reach out to T for support, but I feel disconnected and don't want to have to go through the stress of reconnecting. Plus I feel numb. I just feel so something. Not quite sure. I feel like I should do a fill in the blank. Then I would be able to figure it out.

I feel ________ (adjective).