*Marjan's post was not there when I began composing this post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NuckingFutz
Marjan, I really do not know how to respond to the above exactly, but I will give it a shot. But there are in fact a lot of people who care if he deleted my email if it hurt me. This was no small thing to me. I've known this guy for three years and was hoping to make a good friend out of him. I do know that you can find out if someone has deleted an email from their inbox.
|
If I may interject for a moment, I think it will benefit you both to take a moment to reflect on one another's points of view.
Marjan, I believe it's fair to say this regarding your post:
For the most part, it was objective and gets credit for offering a solution. However, it can be argued that it lacks greatly in terms of the emotional support NF seemed to be seeking and this lends it a negative tone.
NF: Marjan's first words in that post were, "I don't get it...." This is not a knock on you, Marjan, but it was clear you were completely unaware of the magnitude of the emotional impact to NF. This ought to have been your cue, NF, to not read too much into what the poster is saying. If a person does not have a clear understanding of your situation, I believe you should just go, "Well, thanks for trying," and then if you feel it's worthwhile, you could make the attempt to raise the person's awareness to more intelligently discuss the issue. Marjan demonstrated her support for you in her previous posts when she said things like, "you should feel "wise" instead of "mean"!!!!!"
Marjan, more supportive wording can make a world of difference to the person you are responding to without losing any of the content of your message.
Check this out:
A deleted thank-you note would not normally be such an upsetting event. I'm sorry that it has been for you. Now that he can't contact you anymore, you can redirect the energy you were spending on how to handle this, uh it pains me to say it, guy, in more positive ways.
When communicating online it is all too easy to intend one thing and be interpreted as another. Please remember the positive things that have already been accomplished on this thread.