Here's something Bloom3 said to me in another thread; it might be helpful for you, too: "finding a good T is a bit of a crap shoot imo. many of us have had some duds before we found good ones. kind of like dating!

It can be hard to deal with the feelings of rejection, but it's sometimes inevitable that we get rejected by a therapist, just as we do sometimes in dating. (And we often also are on the rejecting end in dating -- and in choosing therapy.)

It is often hard to find a suitable therapist.